Half way there....again!

That little button that the manufacturer put on my alarm clock must have malfunctioned this morning. I pressed it ONCE at 6:15....next thing I knew it was 7:15! A "snooze" is only allowed to be 10 minutes long at most according to WikiHow so either I "sleepsnoozed" and I don't remember it or, like most of the electronics in my life right now, my alarm clock is rebelling against me. And why is it that when you're running late, your hair won't do anything it normally does, you can't find a single shred of clothing that fits, your shoes mysteriously walk off (and not in a pair either)? No, one goes to the living room and the other to the bathroom. How does that happen? I couldn't find my keys, my cell phone wasn't charged, and I almost forgot my purse. We did make it out the back door by 7:45 tho....with Tracker's "crazy hat" in tow.

It's Red Ribbon week so each day is a differently themed dress up day. Yesterday was "Red" Day. I'm still red around the cuticles from dying Track's hair blood red....no, Resurrection Red was the technical name for it. He's still sporting a bit on his rosy red cheeks this morning too. Today tho, was Crazy Hat day. He decided to use his one from last year again. Josh fixed him up an orange construction hard hat with deer antlers attached. It's cute....I should really post some pix. I've gotten particularly lazy about photographing the moments of our lives lately. Kodak would be so disappointed.

I miss regular ol' film that you drop off at the Walmart and pick up a couple days later. I was so much better at that than this digital stuff. I have loads of camera cards full of pix that I'm constantly misplacing OR that find their way into my husband's game cameras...magically erased. Grrrrr. I'm also known to have a hard drive full of pix that never make their way to walmart.com for print either. One day, I'll be dead and gone and the equipment to view all these memories I have will be obsolete...oh, I seriously have got to get on the ball around here. Now, I only have to save the five hundred or so dollars it will cost me to have them all printed. Did I SAY I miss rolls of film? I do....one little roll at a time is all this chick can handle.

Weekend Wanders

Another Monday almost under my belt. That must mean my weekend is gone again. It was filled to the brim as always and I'm fighting exhaustion as usual but I'm mostly a happy camper this fine (but still too warm) fall afternoon. Amanda and I hit Rally in the Valley Friday night. Just us two rode over....no kids this time. I enjoyed it, I don't get nearly enough "grown up time" these days...it never lasts long enough. Saturday morning brought on a sudden thought to shop Hobby Lobby. I needed the perfect birthday gift for one of the moms in my life. I never trust my taste and it takes me FOREVER to pick anything out but I did it....finally. I had been craving Geno's pizza since I'd opened my eyes...what IS it about that mall pizza anyway? It hit the spot too. Tracker eyeballed a Halloween Boo-tique (cute!) so we had to stop off there and then the girl child spied Kohl's, the store I always forget about. She's been "saving" her money since this summer so she can contribute to the vehicle she hopes to be driving come April 2nd. By "saving" I mean that she worked all summer and has more jeans that one butt can wear in a month, various shirts, some still with tags on, some jewelry, color contacts, lots of shoes, and $180 cash. :) I have to say tho, $180 would have paid for a third of my first car. Not gonna be so for "Miss I Want", I'm afraid. So as we break the threshold of Kohl's, I remind her that she is gonna be car shopping in less than six months and that I'm not contributing to her overstuffed closet til Christmas. Period. Forty minutes later, the boys and I have had our fill of the store but Taylor can't be found. Around and around we went looking for her, inside bathrooms and dressing rooms. No Taylor. Well, when I finally DID find her, it was no wonder she went missing...she was buried behind the mound of clothes she was carrying around. Again, I remind her of the car issue to which she replies, "But I NEED it and it's all on sale!". So I shrugged, "Whatever, it's your money but you're gonna be pissy when all your friends are driving and YOU are walking. Guess you'll look cute hitchhiking." I'm still in shock at the justification process she went thru next. "Well," she says, "when you let me drive home from town the other day, I decided that driving was just too scary. I'm not buying a car. When I need to go somewhere, I'll just drive yours." Ooooh. Is that so????? Not even an hour prior to this, she'd told me that she wanted nothing for Christmas....just money for her car. I'd say the girl has a slight shopping addiction. I shall be reminding her of this conversation when April rolls around. God help me survive her.

We went to Amanda & Dustan's for dinner Saturday nite & watched OU play that bi-polar football game. Well, most of it anyway. I'd claim bein a Texas native but that wouldn't be much better and I don't reckon I need any more enemies anyhow. Then yesterday, we listened to the testimony of a family who've just returned from Belize on missions. Absolutely fascinating. I want to go and almost have Josh talked into it. Tracker's game becuz of the snakes and lizards he saw on the slide show but the teenagers?? Eh. They are passionate about exactly one thing....anything that directly involves them. I think they found it more interesting than they let on but they've grown quite accustomed to indoor plumbing and air conditioning.

Josh and I once again tried to find this mysterious piece of property he so desperately wishes to own. Three hours on a four wheeler up the mountains and thru the brush will do a lot to temper a person...especially when you never find what you're looking for. I've decided it's just not out there. Someone is selling a piece of land that simply does not exist so unless this real estate agent wants to give me a personally guided tour, I'm not for it. Josh hasn't quite given up just yet.

Thoughts For This Day

Well, it's Friday again...let the time warp begin. And it will. Monday will be here before I realize Saturday has begun. I'd dig my heels in the dirt and drag if it'd make it go slower. There are so many things going on around here, it's hard to decide what to do! The Robber's Cave festival last week was awesome but there were so many people there. We spent 15 minutes in a line of cars waiting to park, then spent another 20 in line waiting for the shuttle to take us the three miles back to the festival, then 10 minutes waiting on funnel cake that we had to eat sitting indian style on the grass. The jeans they make these days, plus me in them, plus indian style doesn't always make for the most comfortable of situations but I managed. Then we hit the craft booths. My gosh, I couldn't put my hands on my hips for fear I'd elbow people on both sides of me. It was like an ant colony! We voted to skip the carnival all together. Well, all except for poor Tracker. He assumed the long line we were waiting in was to ride the Rocket. You can imagine his disappointment when he discovered it was only the shuttle line for the return ride to the back forty we were parked on. So, I'm thinkin' this weekend, I'd like to avoid huge crowds of people and mile long lines. Although, the Balloonfest is awfully appealling.



Josh has spied a piece of property and has his heart set on owning it. It's the land he's always dreamed of, he says, surrounded by forest with a creek on one side. Hunter's paradise, I reckon. Problem is, it's landlocked on three sides by the US Corps of Engineering and on the other, a little lady who's convinced she already OWNS that land back there. Lol...oh, life is never boring and always, always a challenge. Josh likes a good challenge. Especially when he can sit in his dozer seat all day and think of things for me to do to help further his plight. If he's called me once, he's called me thirty times in the past two days with marching orders. He's excited...and he's driving me batty. Then I think how much fun it'd be to finally have a cabin that's ours...to disappear into the great beyond for 48 hours at a time, and then I get excited too. But before I put my name on a dotted line of obligation, I wanna SEE it first. So, to Google Earth I went...



I had a map of the property...sort of. So I attepmted to find the coordinates. I had never GPS'd my way thru the woods before yesterday. Interesting in a frustrating kinda way. I led us thru at least six direction changes before Mr. Expert took over and led us thru another six. Didn't take us long to figure out we'd soon by walking by the light of the moon at the rate we were travelling. As romantic as that phrase has always sounded, dense woods in the dark is not condusive to much anything except walking faster and talking less. My dot on the map was extremely elusive. We never did find it but we had lots of fun arguing over which way was that way, and what way was which. (I won.) We're armed with new coordinates and a better map today though. Conquer, we shall.

Life is NOT a highway. It's a NASCAR speedway.

I'm not entirely convinced that there are 24 hours in a day anymore...I think the clocks are conspiring against me (paranoia induced by sleep deprivation??). My life long, night owl tendencies have recently been replaced by falling face first, fully clothed onto my bed at 10 pm sharp! and not budging the next morning until the snooze button has been exhausted. It's ridiculous. I concoct and scheme with myself about the easiest ways to make the frizz ball atop my head presentable for the day so that I can hit that button for another beloved 10 minutes of sleep. I'm an expert at applying makeup via the rear view mirror in my vehicle...learned that from the best, my momma. Yet even with shaving what time I can off the everyday routine, multitasking in a dozen different ways, I still just can't keep up. I'd give up but 5 days from now when I'm rested and recoup'd, I'd hate myself for the mess I let pile up. So here we go again...and again, and again. (I know I'm not the only one singin' this song...)

We've all been battling an especially horrid round of allergies this year. Well, I say allergies...I dunno what the heck is wrong with us all but it's stickin' around like those little green guys on the Mucinex commercial. I pretty much feel like I got a watermelon for a head these days and my ears are STILL constantly itchy. Irritating. Makes for cranky people all confined to one house. After a full 24 hours together, things get really interesting! Josh and I 'bout screamed the house down around us Sunday evening. If you think you've nothing to argue about, find yourself sick and cooped up in the living room all day together, throw a teenage daughter into the mix and see how different your child rearing perspectives really are...and THEN, well, just how passionate are you about your perspective anyhow?

We learned years ago that as much alike as we think, we can be polar opposites just as easily and that we are BOTH equally passionate about our viewpoints. So much for the "united front" theory we been throwin' around. Funny how you can love and hate one person in the course of an hour, how you can want more than life itself to be by their side forever and ever and the next moment wish them to Saturn or any other God forsaken place they could never return from. I can love with the best and hate with the worst...it's somewhere in the middle where I normally reside tho.

So, our house is pretty tough. It survived the screaming match. That's more than I can say for the innocent cell phone that found itself at the bottom of my closet. This is what insurance is for, right? And what I get for complaining about the $4.99 a month it costs me.

I'm always sorry for the way I behave during a fit of rage...but never soon enough. Never before I've spilled every ounce of poison in my guts, never before I've said every mean thing that has crossed my mind, and most certainly, never before I feel I have justified myself. I have GOT to get a handle on my tongue.

And THEN, well, there's the issue of my back. A 22 year old injury has come back to rear its ugly head and I'm learning to function with one or both legs completely numb for most of the day. I worry that I might jump up from this office chair and fall flat of my face one of these days. But, this is another of those issues that would be helped by the loss of about 20 pounds. (as I eat another tamale & drink my diet DP) What ELSE can I pull out of my hat today to complain about? :)

Really tho, life is good and the best part is, life goes ON. I get a brand new morning every single day (which I'm still thinkin' is no longer 24 hours long) and I have all these nifty people around me who think I'm pretty alright even when I do fall flat on my face or behave like a fire breathing dragon!

From an addict's perspective...

My cigarette craving has been out of control. I spend way too many minutes of my days dreaming about them lately. Since emphysema doesn't top my list of ways I'd like to leave the earth, I have tried like crazy to just put them out of my mind....usually by poking something calorie-ridden into my mouth. As the scales keep tipping toward a serious meltdown, I have been researching, a.k.a. "googling", things like: organic cigarettes, nicotine free cigarettes, the EZ Smoker for cryin out loud! I made my mother my cohort and we finally settled on some nicotine AND tobacco free smokes from an organic site. I am the Queen of Justification, after all. Snickers vs. cigarette...which is worse? Seriously.

They arrived last Friday. One pack of honey rose Blue Lights and one pack of honey rose Vanilla. I carried them around in my purse and that was good enough, just knowing they were there if I needed one...until Monday. I decided to try the Vanilla first. Oh how I wanted it, WILLED it even, to taste just like my beloved Marlboro Ultra Lite shorts. It didn't. It didn't even come close. Was like takin' a big puff of heated air, in fact. So I thought, "Well, maybe if I drag a little harder on the dang thing...". Nope. Plus, it smelled like the worst pack of cheap cigarettes I'd ever smoked...and I smoked plenty of cheap cigarettes in my high school days. To be absolutely clear, these wretched cigarettes were NOT cheap. No, I believe they average out to be about fifty cents a smoke. Desperate times call for desperate measures. So, I tried out the Blue Lites yesterday. An improvement on the vanilla but still, soooooo not a Marlboro. I WANT a Marlboro. An entire pack. I want to chain smoke four at a time. Oh, the bliss!

I think, perhaps, I've just been fooling myself all these years, telling myself, my husband, my children, "It's not the NICOTINE I'm addicted to...I simply LIKE to smoke. Leave me alone, I can quit whenever I want to." And I have quit....several times now. It seems to be that I can quit whenever I want....it's the restarting I am having trouble controlling. I've the self control, for the moment, to not buy the pack of Marlboros I so desperately crave. Probably becuz I've not yet tried the American Spirit "organic" (lol??!) cigs that still hold the promise (delusion?) of being the alternative I'm looking for. And after that, well, there's still the EZ Smoker!!

THIS is the most wonderful time of the year!

I love fall...it is by far my favorite season. But then again, I think I say the same thing about spring when it finally rolls around after winter. So, we'll call it a toss up...I love fall AND spring but since it happens to be fall now, well, it's definitely my favorite season. All except for the itchy ears I'm battling right now. I guess it's the warm days followed by the cold nites, but my sinuses are on overdrive right now and there is NOTHING more frustrating than my inner ears itching like crazy and knowing, there's not one thing I can do. I'd love to stuff a pipe cleaner down in there...that would feel sooooo good right now. I can't take a drink, cough, talk, or even breathe in a manner that prevents rattling my ears and bringin on the itch. Ugh!

I drug out all my fall decorations last nite...I love harvest colors...they just make me happy. Why is it I can be happy simply because I'm surrounded by various hues of yellow, orange, red, and brown and the air smells like Friday Night Football?? Pumpkins, hay bales, crunchy leaves, hoodies, and baking...it all makes me miss my Gramma too. Has to stem from my years with her, my obsession with Fall. She never failed to dress up the front porch with cute lil scarecrows and huge pots of mums. What I wouldn't give to be 12 again some days! Well, except for I just remembered how she'd make me get out there and rake up all those crunchy leaves!! I was such a pain in her butt, of this I'm sure. Stompin around, draggin my feet, full of attitude, stopping just short of refusing to rake that yard. I knew better than to refuse...my Gramma is a force to be reckoned with when she wants to be. There's a certain look she gets and you just know, "Don't mess with her, it will end badly for you". I miss her.

This is also the time of year my husband goes M.I.A. It used to really bother me when I was younger...that he'd rather be in the woods trailing deer than spend his time in MY company. Not so much anymore....I've learned to utilize the time wisely and even pleasurably. Trips to the mall without him complaining at every storefront without "sporting" in the name, craft fairs without him watching the checkbook like a hawk, Saturday mornings on my front porch with a book, in peace. He is not a reader and doesn't understand my absolute need for it. Well, anymore than I understand his need for the woods. So, we're even. We'll exist for the next two months married in name only....and we'll be just fine with it, now that we're adults and all. :)