Thank God for unexplained fits of laughter!

Life is always an interesting ride, that much is for sure and it doesn't take much more effort than putting your feet on the floor in the morning to find yourself being swept away in it. Finding the time to sit down, collect your thoughts, and breathe awhile is what really requires some ingenuity!

I say every time I find that I've taken a major, unplanned hiatus from blogging that I'll not ever do it again yet somehow, here I am again. The pattern is: When life gets overwhelming, pretend you don't exist! My heartbeat begs to differ...I'M ALIVE. Some days, I'm probably not as grateful as I should be about that. P.O.D. instantly began singing in my head as soon as my fingers typed that. "Everyday is a new day...I'm thankful for every breath I take..." Days like this are why they taught us our numbers...."Count your blessings, Krista." :)

It's only the days that I wake up focused on the "ME" factor that I feel this way. I realized how ridiculous I'm being yesterday at church. I sing back up vocals for our worship team every Sunday and I do my very best to sing while hiding behind the person in front of me. I actually try very hard to disappear while still being heard. It takes talent. Well, yesterday, for some reason I can't extract from my mind, I looked up and because I'm a full head taller than Becca, I locked eyes with my husband....who decided to wink at me. I was suddenly 14 again, unfortunately. "Omg, he's looking at me. WHY is he looking at me? I look horrible today, I feel fat, fatter than usual even....WHY would he look at me? UGH!" And then, my stupidity and complete self-absorption got the better of me and I cracked up. I'm talkin' full on, got the giggles and could NOT stop laughin.

I tried to get a grip, really I did....but it didn't work. I wasn't about to look up at Josh again to see his reaction to what I KNOW he could see goin on with me. I now know that I do not disappear up there....everyone saw it all. I caught Zack, our 15 year old drummer, looking at me, then out at Josh and then HE got cracked up. That just made me worse, which made him worse...and the cycle continued. It was ridiculous and it would not stop. Only after church did Josh tell me that I like to have caused him to "fall out" laughin and that he almost left. I laughed til I cried and hoped like crazy Zack's mom somehow missed the whole episode. :) WHY do things like that happen at the most inappropriate, inconvenient times? We both swear we almost got kicked out of the church we used to go to once when we got cracked up and laughed so hard during services that we literally shook the pew. Boy, did we get some glares that day. And neither of us can tell you what the heck was so funny still! Childish or not, laughter is so, so good for me in these times when the depression comes creeping back in.

I intend to make Blogger a regular part of life....once again, but sometimes intention is just the best I got.