Gettin' there!

Wow...I can't believe my 47 day journey is coming to a close...and rapidly. It's been like a whirlwind around here lately. I'm feeling remarkably refreshed even tho my hair has got to be standing on end! I'm nervous, excited, apprehensive, expectant all in ONE. I can't wait and yet, I could, ya know? I'm thru the "scared out of my mind" phase, mostly, and have settled into the "well, if I fail now, it's gonna be a very public fall" phase. Things are starting to come together at lightning speed after a lull that would have had me eating my fingers to the last knuckle if I was a nail biting kinda girl. Thankfully, all my digits are intact. I'm always amazed at people and their willingness to give of their time and resources. For the most part, everyone I've turned to has extended a hand in whatever capacity they were able. I've had a few run in's that were just downright discouraging but thankfully, those were the exceptions and not the rule. I've been getting worked over in my problem areas of insecurity, rejection, and my "run away" syndrome. Typically, when something gets difficult or I get rejected 2 or 3 times, I throw a run away. I say "to heck with it" and just quit. Not an option this time around. See, I opened my big mouth and told everyone what I intended to do so how could I quit when, first rattle out of the box, I hit a big, fat NO to my plans? I couldn't...the prideful parts of me kept me putting one foot in front of the other...even when my head was hung and my tail was tucked. :) I can't wait until it's all over and I can look back and just see how all the pieces came together. Presently, I'm still in a scattered state but I'm trusting I'll have a surge of administrative abilities come Friday morning.

Josh has been great thru all this, an unexpected source of strength really. Money is one of his "issues" and I figured when he realized that, ultimately, the responsibility for all this would fall on our shoulders, I'd have to fight him tooth and nail. Not so. He's been supportive from day one even tho he's gone thru a dicontinued 401k match from his employer and he's no longer guaranteed a paid 40 hour work week. That's quite a lot to be thrown at this very anal and habitual man in a very short period of time. I've held my breath several times, waiting on an explosion but there's a quietness to his temperment lately that blesses me tremendously. Unusual, but I'm hoping it lasts. The older we get, the better we get along. But then again, that could all change tomorrow...