Tracker, music, and food!

Allergy season has kicked off...my little one is waking up with his eyes glued completely shut, once again. A couple of years ago, on such a morning, he could only get one eye to open. Now, Tracker is not a morning person...in any way, shape, or form...he's awful. Cranky, hateful...ugh. I stand over him, watch him sleeping, and sigh deeply before I begin the process of getting him onto his feet. It's just that bad. So on this morning, when he couldn't get his eye to open he began screaming, "I can't SEE, I can't SEE...MOM, my EYE isn't WORKING!". And well, I got tickled and couldn't quit laughing...just added to his fury. "It's NOT funny...I CANT SEEEEEEE!". I laugh even now...he got so mad at me, he lunged to take me out and his eye popped open. He calmed right down once he could see with both eyes. I don't know what set of my genes mingled just right with Josh's to create that child, but I'm glad we only did it once. I'd never survived if they all three were this way. Tracker has got to be the only person in the world who can reduce me to tears of fury and frustration one minute and then, once he's realized he's pushed to the very edge of my limit, morph into the most loving little thing ever. He's one of a kind...thank goodness.

Should have the flyers for the concert in my hands by tomorrow. Then begins phase two of the process....finding donors. This is a task I never look forward to. I don't know why it bothers me so bad to be turned down...but it DOES. It hits me in a personal way, hits every rejection button I have and there's no doubt, I will find some no's in my journeys. All part of the process...breaking me out of my "dancing for quarters", people pleasing ways. Sort of like tempering steel, I reckon...it's gotta go thru fire before it's ready. This is an area where I wish I were my little sister...she just don't give a damn. Never has...like her or leave her..she's goin on. I've always admired people who can shrug it all off and carry on. Maybe one day I'll get to the bottom of why what other people think affects me so much....

I'm on my final week of phase one of this eating makeover too...then I have 3 weeks of an Atkins/Southbeach type thing...hopefully, I don't have to repeat the cycle after that. They say, after this 9 weeks, my hypothalumus will be "reset". Whatever that means. I just hope it happens!! The pounds aren't coming off as fast as the inches and that's something I've never understood but I just go with it. If I focused on those scales every day and the fact that they're NOT moving nearly fast enough, I'm afraid I'd be in a hopeless state of depression. Screw that...it's too nice outside for depression! A new season...at long last!