It takes me awhile to recognize it when I'm in the midst of the whole thing, but I'm cycling back thru my normal December/January depression. You'd think, by now, I would see it comin' a mile away. I never do. This year, it seems it began earlier than it should have..and I'm blaming THAT on all the unexpected trauma of November. But really, it usually begins soon after Thanksgiving and lasts until February. Every year I say I ain't doin' it again and every year, I snap out of my bad disposition and general hatred for everything and nearly everyone right about this time and realize I've done it...again. The trigger is still a mystery to me but whatever it is, it's a doozy. I can trace it as far back as I my earliest memory...just a nearly suffocating, heavy feeling that falls around the end of the year. Yet, somehow, it must be comforting or at least, familiar, to me because I don't fight it off...like I said, I rarely recognize it until I've just about become so poisonous, I can no longer stand myself. I'm there, I officially can no longer stand myself!!! The fight is ON, like Donkey Kong, to get OVER myself and on with life!! :)
